I was filled with so much nervous excitement. I loaded her pictures on the computer, sat back, unzipped my pants, and jerked off into a shirt that I then threw into the washer.I stayed up late masturbating to pictures of naked older women. I found out I had a thing for them.The next day, I woke up earlier than usual.I did my chores, mowed the lawn and raked the leaves. Afterwards, I showered and looked through my suitcase. I found the shirt with the fewest stains and set it aside. I spent hours fixing up dinner and then ruining it. I still had a lot to learn about cooking spaghetti and boiling potatoes.I decided to go to the local market and buy kosher food from the deli. The guy looked at me funny. Don't combine milk and dairy in the same meal, he told me. Why not, I asked. It's not kosher, he said. You feeding this to a Jewish person? I took my food and walked back. I stopped by the wine store and-- damn it all--put down twenty bucks for a bottle of red wine. On my way back, it. "I never actually left! I was hiding right behind the front door!" Ryansaid sharply. "Now that I understand how I transform, I'll make sure I'mnever near you again, Blaine!" You know, I've been thinking," Ryan's mother butted in. "We can't justkeep calling Ryan by his male name when he's a girl. She needs a name ofher own." Ryan stood there for a moment, surprised by the complete changeof subject. "Oh, I know!" she exclaimed happily. "Why not Beth?" What are you talking about?!" Ryan yelled. "There's no way I'm turninginto a female again! And I'm definitely not marrying this guy!" With thelast of the sentence, Ryan thrust a finger out at Blaine."You know, I think Miranda sounds nicer," Ryan's father commented. "Itsounds more authoritative." Wi-will you two listen to me?!" Ryan shouted, faltering slightly fromtheir complete disregard of his proclamation."You guys," Blaine started in an attempt to mediate between the family."No, no, I actually think Marissa is better than Miranda,".
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